Before Get ready to tell your boss you’re leaving. You might be planning to leave your job, like many professionals do these days. 44 percent of workers are looking for a new job. Making the decision to quit is hard, but telling your boss about it is often even harder. What should you say when you’re sitting there with them, either in person or over Zoom?
Leaving a job is always an awkward thing to do. After all, your choice changes the way things are and adds work for everyone.. When we inform our boss we’re leaving, in an ideal world, he or she might say something like, “I’m really glad for you.” This is a fantastic next step for you to take.
But humans aren’t perfect, so that doesn’t always happen. Even if they know quitting is the right thing to do, many employees are nervous about telling their boss, especially if their boss reacts badly.
We’ve seen five frequent emotional reactions from managers when an employee tells them they’re leaving as executive coaches.. We hope that your boss will respond in a way that is encouraging and helpful. But just in case, here are some things you can say to your boss in each situation to make sure you don’t leave on a bad note.
Depending on how they are feeling at the time you tell them you are leaving, your manager may get upset or even angry right away. They might feel like you’ve let them down and worry about how they’ll handle the work without you. People who don’t know how to control their anger might react badly to your news and attack you. People might say, “I can’t believe you’re doing this after all I’ve done for you!”
Most of the time, this is a short-term response to stress, and they’ll calm down in a little while. You should be kind and give them time to figure out what’s going on. You should also reassure them that you’re not leaving them in the lurch. You could say, “I know this is surprising.” “I want you to know how much I appreciate your help and support. I couldn’t pass up the chance to take the new job, but I want you to know that I will do everything I can to make this change as smooth as possible.”
Your boss may also try to scare you off as a way to make you change your mind about quitting. When one of our executive coaching clients gave her notice, her boss reminded her of her flaws and said, “I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable referring you to anyone I know in the future”.
When you tell someone you’re leaving, it’s not the time to argue about your past performance or try to change their mind about you. When someone threatens you, they are letting you know that they are not on your side. You could say, “I hear you loud and clear.” “I appreciate you telling me.” Then leave that place quickly.
If your boss feels insecure, he or she may criticize your plans for the future without being asked to. We’ve seen examples of managers trying to “coach” their employees by saying bad things about their next job. This was done to make their employees less excited about their next step. One of our clients’ managers warned her that transferring to a much larger company was a major mistake since “no one loves working there” and “its brand has severely fallen.”
Don’t try to argue with them if you find yourself in this situation. Try to change the subject instead to get off this track. “Thank you so much for caring,” you could say. “I’ve decided this is the best way for me to go, and I’m happy with my choice, but thanks.”
When your boss makes you feel bad about your choice, it’s one of the hardest things to say no to. When one of our coaching clients quit his job, his boss asked him, “Do you know how many times I looked out for you?” She went on to list all the things she had done to keep him safe from organizational danger. Especially if you are close to your manager, you may already feel bad, and hearing stories from them that make you feel bad may make you feel even worse. You could say, “I know how much you’ve helped me.” “Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me. It wasn’t easy to make this choice, However, I believe it is time for me to move on, and I will be eternally grateful for the work we did together.
Lastly, it’s not unusual for a manager to ask you what you need to stay. Or, what if I can offer you the same or more than what they are giving you? Of course, this isn’t a bad reaction. In fact, it’s a great sign of how important you are to the organization. But it can still be uncomfortable if you aren’t ready to answer.
Before you talk to your boss about your resignation, you should think about how you’ll answer. Are you “all in” on your next chapter and a definite “no”? Or, if your current job could make you better off, financially or otherwise, would you think again?
If the first, you could say, “Thank you so much for asking.” I’ve given this a lot of thought and am sure that moving on is the best thing for me, but I’m glad you asked. ” If it’s the latter, you could say, “I didn’t come into this conversation hoping to get an offer. The plan is for me to take the new job. But it’s true that I love working here, and if I could find a job that was just as good, I would stay. ”
One of the most painful things you can do at work is tell your employer you’re leaving, and it’s tough to predict how they’ll respond in the moment.. But if you think about these situations and plan ahead, you can make it much more likely that you’ll be able to handle their response, no matter what it is, with thoughtfulness and grace.
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